


In which Callum and Hugh turn into llamas

by china_shop



Category: Canadian Actor RPF
Genre: Animal Transformation, Crack, Fic, Llamas, M/M, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-08-08
Updated: 2007-08-08
Packaged: 2017-10-13 04:08:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/132670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/china_shop/pseuds/china_shop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even through the visual static, Hugh could see Callum's ears growing, sticking out of his spiky hair like crooked fence-posts on an unkempt lawn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In which Callum and Hugh turn into llamas

**china:** GLLOMP!!!! (llama glomp *g*)  
 **mergatrude:** HEEEEE! Now I want to add "ll" to everything!! Hllugh! Cllallum!  
 **china:** LLAMA HUGH! AND LLAMA CALLUM! OMG! (I am totally picturing them turned into llamas and all aggrieved by it, and LLAMA CALLUM trying to smoke!!!!!! OH BOYS!)  
 **mergatrude:** OMG YOU HAVE TO WRITE THAT!!!!  
 **china:** Okay...

 

* * *

 

"What the fuck is happening?" Hugh put his coffee cup down with a clink on the glass-topped outdoor table at the B Deck Cafe and Gelaterie, and he stared at his wrist in consternation. His arm hairs were thickening before his eyes. And more were sprouting from his skin. It itched like crazy.

Callum came up behind Hugh, leaned over his shoulder and peered at it through his sunglasses. He had a cigarette clamped between his lips, and his words came out in puffs of smoke. "Reverse evolution?"

"Fuck you," said Hugh. "Make it stop."

"Can't." And there was something panicked in the careful evenness of his voice.

Hugh twisted around to look. Callum was standing with the sun behind him, his body a black shape with blotches winking in and out in the periphery of Hugh's retina. But even through the visual static, Hugh could see Callum's ears growing, sticking out of his spiky hair like crooked fence-posts on an unkempt lawn.

Hugh got to his feet and kicked his chair aside, sending it clattering into the railing ten feet away. "Okay, who the goddamned fuck is doing this? It's not funny!" He glared threateningly around.

Everyone in the near vicinity stared into their cups or focused fixedly on their books or their companions, or the sky.

"I don't know, but--" Callum broke off and his cigarette fell from his deforming fingers.

Somehow it seemed the easiest and most natural thing in the world for Hugh to reach down and stamp it out with his hands. Hooves. Bifurcated whatever-the-fucks. "Jesus Christ Almighty," he said, but it came out as a series of bleats, and when he tried to stand upright again, he couldn't. His center of gravity was off. He looked up to warn Callum, but it was too late. Callum's neck was getting longer and longer.

They were turning into llamas. They were _both_ turning into _llamas_! There had better be a fucking good reason for this, not to mention a cure, and they had better find it soon!

Callum trotted over and rested his neck over Hugh's, and Hugh could feel him shaking and couldn't do a damned thing about it.

Someone by the counter was shouting in horror or dismay, and Hugh swung his head up -- maybe it wasn't just them! But everyone else looked normal, and most of them were still averting their gazes. The couple at the next table picked up their plates and drinks and started to move further away. "It's not fucking contagious," Hugh wanted to yell at them, but for all he knew, it was.

Then the guy from behind the counter, Gino, came hurrying over, wringing his hands in his dish towel. "Wrong coffee!" he said. "I gave you the wrong coffee! Mi excusa! So sorry!"

 

* * *

 

 **china:** *is wildly distractable today* Booooys!  
 **mergatrude:** BLLOYS!!!!!!


End file.
